Friends - What do you look for?

[Dakura Deoman]

I figured this could[/i] make quite an interesting topic for everyone involved... especially because it requires a person to think about their answer before posting.

Basically as the topic title suggests, what things in a persons character do you vaule in the various people you consider friends? What characteristics drive you away from a person?

Do you look for a person with inteligence? A person with a morbid sense of humor? Someone who can drink, party and have a good time? What about a person with high morals... do you look for people with them or do you tend to find them irritating and narrow minded?

I'll post my thoughts and feelings to this question in a few days time ((which is probably gonna be quite a long post))... but for now I'm curious to see what people have to say about the matter.

[slifer91]

Ok...I'll join in on this one...

I guess i really don't look for friends with certian charecteristics such as humor or party potential. I am just naturally drawn to those with a good sense of humor, or a person with exceptional morals. I really don't care about "status" because thats not really important once you graduate.

As far as intellegence, i could care less. Its just not the thing im drawn to or drawn away from. Most of my friends, though, are 3.0 GPA or higher. I've got maybe 3 or 4 friends who have less than that.

The one thing i do look in for friends is what thier interests are. To have fun with someone, you have to have some similiar interests, but also you have to have conflicting interests. At least thats the way i think best, which definitely doesn't prove its true. For example, Dakura, you and Raven had a lot of fun debating on the issue of Yami Marik vs. Yami Bakura... That is a conflicting interest, but its not like you all hate each other now because you think your character is better.
It made for very good conversation, too, right? It was very interesting to read. The other thing was you had a common interest-Yugioh.

The one thing i cannot stand is cockiness. I hate it. Now, don't take it wrong, I don't hate people who ARE cocky, i just hate thier actions towards people. I just can't stand someone who thinks they're better than everyone else, or that they are just smarter than every one. I have no friends like that, and for a good reason too.

The last type of characteristic i stray from is people who want someone to change the way they are for thier benifit. If that person wants you to change, than their not friends with you, they are friends with the person they want you to be. Again, i may be wrong, im only a teenager, putting my opinion in on this topic. Anyway i hope i didn't offend anybody and answered the question properly.

[infernofireblast]

My friends are all made of different strands of thread, connected to make one large ball of yarn. As far as friends go, I look for ones who can make intelligent statements, while still maintaining a humorous, down-to-earth style, as well as ones who aren't self-absorbed or cocky in nature, yet who aren't afraid to speak their minds when needed. Morals are also a plus, because who wants someone whose life is spent tearing down others as a friend? Lastly, I find those who are fun-loving and carefree to be, while unrealistically happy most of the time, very good friends. Loyalty and Caring are good end-points as well, wouldn't want my friends to stab me in the back without mercy. So, that's my viewpoint, enjoy.

[ishizusan]

Characteristics I look for in a friend:
1.Good listener
2.loyalty
3.rational
4.caring
5.thoughtfulness

characteristics that turn me off:
1.snobbishness
2.disloyalty
3.selfishness
4.backstabbers
5.heartlessness
6.narrow/closed mindedness
7.blatantly ignorant
8.bossiness
9.self-rightiousness
10.dishonesty
11.hypocrisy
12.arrogance

[Dakura Deoman]

slifer91 said:

Again, i may be wrong, im only a teenager, putting my opinion in on this topic. Anyway i hope i didn't offend anybody and answered the question properly.

There really is no right or wrong answer to the question. People's opinions and answers will naturally vary depending on their morals, experiences, taste, style and personality.

Anyways here are my views on friendship, and what i look for in people.

--Uniqueness
One of the things i value in all the people i consider friends is the fact that they are unique in various ways. They don't try to be somebody they are not... whether it be another person or what society expects of them.

Basically all the people i truly enjoy being around are their own person... and don't really give a d*mm what the world thinks of them. They all have their own sense of style, attitude and ways of dealing with whatever problems may come their way.


--People who stand up for their beliefs while remaining open-minded
I like it when a person is not narrow minded enough to believe that they are always 100% right about everything... and are willing to accept that they might be wrong about some matters. However on the other hand they will still stand up for what they believe in until such a time comes that they are proven wrong.

If they come across a discussion where 50 people believe differently to themselves... they will still vote for what they believe even if they are the only one. That i like and admire, for it takes a great deal of courage and self-confidence.


--People who have a little depth to them
I just don't like or get along with people who are shallow. If their life revolves around their hairstyle, clothes, personal possessions, reputation, ect.... i just can't get along with them in a positive way no matter how hard i try.

However shallow people are always fun to prank... or just toy with.


--People who see both the positives and the negatives of a situation
This in a way brings up the "optimistic vs. pessimistic" argument.... and personally i don't really get along with people on either extreme of the scale.

I'm suddenly reminded of somebody i met once... great person, very sadistic, cunning and smart... but never saw the positive side of anything ((no matter how un-important the issue may be)). After talking to the person, I'd feel all drained and hollow... and after a week or 2 i just couldn't stand the person any longer.

However on the other hand, i tend to find people who never acknowledge the negatives of life extremely difficult to get along with. Life has it's good and bad sides to it... and i enjoy spending time with people who see and understand both sides.


--Morals
I do like knowing people that have at least some morals and respect for themselves. However if the person starts viewing themselves as more superior then everyone who doesn't have morals of the same standard.... well then we have a little problem.


--Intelligence
I don't care what IQ a person has... what i do care about is whether the person has common sense. Just because a person may have an IQ of 137... that doesn't necessarily make them smart ((just like having an IQ of 86 doesn't necessarily mean a person is dumb)). It really all comes down to whether or not they actually use the brain they are gifted with.

If a person chooses to talk in little more then animal-like grunts and groans... then i have trouble getting along with them. Let alone being polite around them.


Okay there’s a few other points here and there but that’ll do you people for now. The above is pretty basic but specific I guess.